Dexter Dixxer mixed elixir
in his quick elixir mixer.
“It’s an excellent elixir,”
Dexter boasted, “very fine
for afflictions which assail you,
aches which irritate and ail you,
guaranteed to rarely fail you,
only nineteen ninety-nine!”
His elixir tasted icky,
it was fishy, squishy, sticky,
just to swallow it was tricky,
and I tried to spit it out.
But too late! My tongue already
started turning to spaghetti,
and my hair was red confetti
with a touch of sauerkraut.
I grew feathers on my belly,
all my fingers felt like jelly,
then my feet got really smelly,
and my ears were green as limes.
I was squawking, I was squealing,
and I had a sinking feeling,
so I jumped up to the ceiling,
and I sneezed eleven times.
I was yipping, I was yapping,
as my kneecaps started clapping,
then my earlobes started flapping,
and my nose turned violet.
So I ran and told my mother,
“This elixer’s like no other!”
Now I share it with my brother-
it’s the best elixir yet!
Copyright © 1996 Jack Prelutsky. From the book A Pizza the Size of the Sun. Greenwillow Books. Reprinted by permission of the author.
Although Jack Prelutsky is best known for his humorous and imaginative verse, his readers are now discovering how deeply music is entwined with his poetry. Currently, Jack is more likely to appear on a concert stage than in a library or bookstore.
While Jack has been making words rhyme for over forty-five years, his career began as a folk singer in coffeehouses and with uncertain aspirations of becoming an operatic tenor. By chance he took his first poems, descriptions of fanciful creatures, to Susan Hirschman, editor at Macmillan. Susan suggested that he write about real animals and with her encouragement, Jack’s first book, A Gopher in the Garden, was published in 1967.
Since then he has published over seventy books of poetry, including The New Kid on the Block; Hooray for Diffendoofer Day!; The Dragons are Singing Tonight; Awful Ogre’s Awful Day; Scranimals; The Frogs Wore Red Suspenders; If Not for the Cat; What a Day it Was at School!; and Behold the Bold Umbrellaphant.
Jack’s latest books are: The Silver Moon; Stardines Swim High Across the Sky; I’ve Lost My Hippopotamus; The Carnival of the Animals; My Dog May Be a Genius; Pizza, Pigs, and Poetry: How to Write a Poem (Jack’s first book of prose); and Be Glad Your Nose is On Your Face: And Other Poems. In his role as anthologist, Jack has compiled several collections, beginning with The Random House Book of Poetry for Children; continuing with The 20th Century Children’s Poetry Treasury; and most recently, Read a Rhyme, Write a Rhyme.