by Bruce Lansky
I’m glad to say my homework’s done.
I finished it last night.
I’ve got it right here in this box.
It’s not a pretty sight.
My dog chewed up my homework.
He slobbered on it, too.
So now my homework’s ripped to shreds
and full of slimy goo.
It isn’t much to look at,
but I brought it anyway.
I’m going to dump it on your desk
if I don’t get an A.
Copyright © 1996 Bruce Lansky. From the book My Dog Ate My Homework. Meadowbrook Press. Reprinted by permission of the author.
“My dog chewed up my homework” is a common excuse used by students who don’t turn in their homework. Usually, it’s a fib to cover up the fact that the student watched TV or shot hoops the night before the homework was due. But what if it were true (I wondered). In this poem I concoct a scenario likely to be believed (and taken seriously) by the teacher.
Bruce Lansky was first called “the King of Giggle Poetry” by the students of a school in North Miami Beach, Florida whose teacher “kidnapped” Lansky and forced him to perform at her school at needle point. The title refers to Lansky’s popular website: Giggle Poetry and also refers to the third poetry book Lansky ever published: A Bad Case of the Giggles. Altogether he has written or edited 20 humorous poetry and song books which have sold about 4 million copies. He visits schools, because he loves hanging out with kids (unfortunately, his grandchildren live in Sweden, so he only sees them once a year).